everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I am morally bankrupt
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
