Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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