I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
FUCK WHALES
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
