Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
