Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
