Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
