You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
