Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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