hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Randomize
