How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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