I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
