I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
