you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Randomize
