took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
