Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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