Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
