brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
