You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Are we still banned from the library?
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Randomize
