I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
bring money and cleavage
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
