Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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