If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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