Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize