i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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