is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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