yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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