I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
