exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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