CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
