"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
