everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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