normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
