the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize