I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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