how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
