shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
