this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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