Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
why is half of my head shaved?
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