gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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