remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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