Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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