Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
