Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
