Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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