sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
