Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
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