I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
