69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize