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  • Billy Mays here for Cum-and-Gone; oh how i will miss those days.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:15pm
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  • does this person not have a washing machine? Some of these texts are really stupid. I swear if it has anything to do with BJs, period blood, or sharting, it gets put up automitically..no matter how lame it is.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 5:52pm
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  • Its probably on a wall...and 3:59 is right

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:00pm
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  • use bleach and amonia... should solve your problems.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:34pm
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  • 3:54 - where can i find you...this means you do quickies

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:59pm
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  • Billy mays here with OXICLEAN! ring any bells?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:17pm
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  • omg jizz stains and period stainz!!!!11!! so gross lolz

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:06pm
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  • Blow naked - no worries

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 6:41pm
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  • i have yet to find a stain i couldn't remove with baking soda.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 14, 09 at 2:01am
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  • Squirt some Shout! on it before you throw it in the wash. Came right out of a brand new shirt I had that I wasn't able to wash for at least a couple days.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 7:35pm
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  • I see a marketing opportunity too: TROJANS! For when you're too damn lazy to dump it in the wash, use Trojans! *Pat Pending*

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:30pm
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  • They are called cumclean wipes.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 3:39pm
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  • Lemon and Epson salt worked perfectly for getting the jizz out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:06pm
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  • 8:07.... I'm in love ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 9:14pm
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  • comes out of my socks

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 7:04pm
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  • seeing as how it's mostly fructose and protein, anything you can get out food with should work.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:54pm
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  • cum stain away- cum stain away- cum stain away with wisk yeah (sung to some sail away of course)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:47pm
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  • Shampoo works on "protein stains"

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:02am
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  • cheap windex. swear to god. that even gets it out of the seats and carpetting in the car.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:37am
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  • I carry a Tide-to-go pen in my purse strictly for jizz incidents.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:54pm
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  • shoulda swallowed when i said to

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 2:55am
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  • no it doesnt, it shouldnt

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:22pm
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  • Hasn't anyone seen the movie "Smokin Aces"? Nothing can get that shit out!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 9:44am
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  • No, no, no. Use Mascul-out! Takes care of all sorts of "protein stains".

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:20pm
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  • loofah and soap works every time!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:41pm
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  • Skeet skeet skeet

    Submitted by XxLundqvistx30X on Jun 28, 10 at 12:38am
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  • JUST USE DUCT TAPE!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 18, 09 at 10:45pm
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  • just call it jizz-be-gone. it'll sell quickly. trust me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 5:37pm
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  • Yeah.. You THINK it's out.. until you get under the black light at the club! Guess what?! it's still there!! AWKWARD!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 11:54am
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  • 631 554 7681 Call lisa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:19pm
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  • billy mays here with Zombies!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:30am
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  • Ask Monica Lewinsky. Or is that before the rest of you were born?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:59am
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  • ALCOHAL AND EPSON SLAT FIXES ALL

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:01pm
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  • Everclear. Shit will eat thru anything,

    Submitted by Anonymous on Dec 11, 09 at 8:08am
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  • use a shamwow… old schlomi used it to mop up that hooker's blood AND his jizz, and the carpet was perfectly clean

    Submitted by Anonymous on Aug 7, 09 at 12:13am
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  • 8:07 we are kindred spirits because i've never had that issue either

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 1:38pm
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  • on clothing/bedclothes? just wash it. if it's in your hair, shampoo it out. i've never had any problem with either. and, yeah, if it's "on the go", tide to go is awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:46pm
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  • 3:49: Yeah, but Vince can't do that all day.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:52pm
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  • Posting phone numbers is just not cool

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:26pm
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  • I guess all the semen I encounter ends up in my tummy, vag, or a condom cause this has never been an issue.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 8:07pm
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  • The dry-cleaners call it an "albumen stain". Well, some anyway.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 8:36pm
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  • Jizz washes right out in the wash, It does not stain.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 4:23pm
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  • Jizz deconstitutes after about 12 hours, I think. Even if you don't have a washing machine, if you're lazy (and *really* weird) you should be able to put whatever it is in a bowl of water for a day and be fine.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:10pm
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  • Although if you want to make your own loofah......just continue to use the same towel or washcloth, and viola! Loofah !!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 30, 09 at 9:49am
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  • PINK SOLUTION!! It gets ANYTHING out of ANYWHERE!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 26, 09 at 1:56am
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  • Another reason that you should swallow.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:35pm
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  • it's called smith's cum cleaner. google it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:03pm
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  • Seriously just rub some water on it...or throw it in the wash, skeet doesn't stain

    Submitted by badmotherfuker86 on Mar 7, 12 at 1:35pm
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  • You stay classy, Prince William County.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 10:09pm
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  • Vince Shlomi will sell the shit out of it...and then punch a hooker in the face!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:49pm
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  • And I'm ashamed that I live near people this retarded

    Submitted by badmotherfuker86 on Mar 7, 12 at 1:36pm
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  • semen is water soluable,,,

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 25, 09 at 1:04am
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  • Aww damn too bad Bill mays is dead, he totally coulda pitched it and it woulda made millions Too soon?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 3:47pm
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  • It's a lot of fucking going on in Northern Virginia.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 8:39am
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  • There's already a product called Kum Clean! For real hahaha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 24, 09 at 12:43am
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  • OXY=CLEAN IS GOD. the first time i had sex, it got everything out.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 11:58pm
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  • Excellent skit done on this very topic by The Man Show quite a few years ago

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 23, 09 at 6:47pm
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