Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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