question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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