Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
