I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
