I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
