This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
