I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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