Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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