morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
two words...techno handjob
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
