I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
