ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize