TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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