First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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