Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize