I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
