tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
