So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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