next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This is the high leading the old right now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize