I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
