There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
