I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
