Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
