only if we run a train.
done.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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