I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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