I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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