I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
