Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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