It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
