i jhust puked up my retainher.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
