Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He better not be in your backpack
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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