I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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