How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
