i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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