I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
