I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
